May 2013
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Cosmo sex tip #569
cosmo-sex-tips:
As she is about to give you a hand job , whisper “Whoever wields this hammer, if she be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor”
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fallingfromthursday:
Hello I’m a “DeanCas” shipper who doesn’t hate Jensen for banning Destiel questions because they make him uncomfortable. Nice to meet you!
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Hawkeye's Thoughts During The Avengers Movie
Clint: wow im up high yay
Clint: yay heights
Clint: i wish i was a real bird
Clint: ohwait why are ppl freaking out?
Clint: bad tesseract
Clint: stop that
Clint: messing with the power
Clint: oh hey fury
Clint: god u dumb recruits u just cant ask someone why they're not white
Clint: yeah im mother fucking Hawkeye
Clint: leaving my perch just for you
Clint: my precious nest
Clint: pesant
Clint: jfc
Clint: you srsly havent figured this out
Clint: and yet im not a scientist
Clint: fucker
Clint:
Clint:
Clint: no it's like a door you dipshit
Clint: it's a portal
Clint: oh look it's opening
Clint:
Clint:
Clint: omg who's that fucker
Clint: HE DOESNT EVEN GO HERE
Clint: he looks like snape
Clint: greasy haired bastard
Clint:
Clint: da fuck is your glorious purpose
Clint: you are going down
Clint: wait no
Clint: dont touch me
Clint: loki of asgard wut r u doin
Clint: stop
Clint: dont touch me with that scepter
Clint: ow that feels
Clint:
Clint: master loki i am yours forever
Clint: yeah yeah id tap that
Clint: you go loki laufeyson, four for you loki laufeyson
Clint: i love you
Clint: yes i will kill them
Clint: get the tesseract i am under your control 5ever bro
Clint: cool im driving a car for my beautiful greasy-haired ruler
Clint: u rock on bro
Clint:
Clint:
Clint: go away agent hill nobody likes you
Clint: pesant you arent even cool
Clint: boo you whore
Clint: no like me
Clint: ew a gun i hate guns
Clint: wheres my bow i will shoot your mofoin' brains out
Clint: toodaloo sucker
Clint:
Clint:
Clint: muhahaha master loki we are so evil
Clint: we wear black on wednesdays
Clint: aw bow i missed you i love you
Clint: I REQUIRE AN EYEBALL
Clint: yay roadtrip
Clint: thanks for the eyeball you rock on, hon
Clint: i love you master loki
Clint:
Clint:
Clint:
Clint: oh no loki where are you going
Clint: no come back
Clint: dont let them those fuckers take you
Clint: no loki
Clint: wait i love you
Clint: well shit
Clint:
Clint:
Clint: muhahaha
Clint: im taking over the avengers ship
Clint: take that helicarrier
Clint: i blew that engine up
Clint: did you hear that explosion?
Clint: that was me
Clint: hawkeye was here
Clint: hide yo kids hide yo wife
Clint: we're killin everybody out there
Clint: oh hey Natasha can you spare a moment for our lord and savoir loki of asgard
Clint: no fuck you black widow
Clint: no stop
Clint: stahp
Clint: i do what i want-
Clint:
Clint:
Clint: ow my head hurts
Clint: pretty colors
Clint:
Clint:
Clint: wow ur really pretty
Clint: hi natasha
Clint: i love you
Clint: i love you more than i loved loki
Clint: you're beautiful and perfect
Clint:
Clint: natasha i love you
Clint: we're two peas in a pod
Clint: let's kill loki together
Clint:
Clint: hi captain america
Clint: "arrr ya ready kids?" "aye aye captain!"
Clint: lets take over that plane
Clint: u tell that boy cappy
Clint:
Clint: ALIENS ARE ATTACKING
Clint: goddammit im so tired of ur shit loki
Clint:
Clint: i only loved you once
Clint: now i fucking hate you
Clint: stop ruffling my feathers
Clint:
Clint: helicopter's goin' down!
Clint:
Clint: dammit lets kick ass
Clint:
Clint: fighting really cool
Clint: kick ass moves
Clint: yeah you alien pesants
Clint: imma shoot ur eye out
Clint: dont touch me
Clint: stop
Clint: hahaha
Clint: huLK SMASH
Clint: yay im up high
Clint: yay heights
Clint: im so majestic
Clint: look at me fighting
Clint: shooting all those arrows
Clint: making each one in every damn time
Clint: damn im good
Clint: yeah thor you work that hammer
Clint: werk it
Clint: he can fly?
Clint: i wish i could fly
Clint: like a real bird
Clint: not a superhero with a bird name
Clint: tony can fly
Clint: even spandex can practically fly have you see that man jump
Clint: TONY THAT JOKE IS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE
Clint: okay maybe i secretly like being called legolas
Clint: he's really pretty
Clint: and fantastic
Clint: like me
Clint: im so good
Clint: im better than that bamf katniss everdean
Clint: hey wait
Clint: DON'T FUCKIN TOUCH MY GIRL TASHA
Clint: COME AT ME BRO
Clint: dont worry gurl i gotcha
Clint:
Clint: one day we'll kiss
Clint: but that day is not today
Clint: omfg
Clint: jfc im out of freaking arrows
Clint: collecting arrows and kicking ass
Clint: yeah im so great
Clint: im hawkeye
Clint:
Clint: did we win?
Clint: yeah we did
Clint: suck it losers
Clint: peasants
Clint:
Clint: wait tony
Clint: wat r u doing
Clint: you just had to play hero
Clint: im so tired of all of your shit you guys
Clint: except for you tasha
Clint: i love you
Clint:
Clint: okay tony's alive
Clint: lets got pick up that little shit loki
Clint:
Clint: haha we win you loose
Clint: i dont love you anymore
Clint: brain control is not cool
Clint: even if i do have heart
Clint: a big one full of love for natasha
Clint: a birds
Clint: and my bow and arrows
Clint: and heights
Clint:
Clint: SHAWARMA!
Clint:
Clint:
Clint: hey guys
Clint: hi natasha
Clint:
Clint: i love you
Clint:
Clint: loki's going home
Clint: bye thor ill miss you
Clint: not you loki
Clint: you suck
Clint: hasta la pasta
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yaoibutts:
i love how potato in french is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.”
like what stupid frenchman saw this:
and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE POMME DE TERRE!”
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methlabrador:
you know in hindsight maybe 30 minutes stuck in an elevator was a little too early to resort to cannibalism but none of us had breakfast that morning and we panicked
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raging-woodcock:
Girl look at that body,
Girl look at that body,
Girl look at that body,
We should probably call the police who knows how long it’s been in the river.
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heavenandhellcastiel:
If you’re ever feeling sad just remember that Jensen Ackles shapes napkins into penises
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